The communication jigsaw

The communication jigsaw

"She's friendlier than she sounded over the phone." I said it loud in my head as I was walking out of the office after a quick chat with the human resource executive. It was one of the places I was interning last winter. On a rare cold winter afternoon in Mumbai, my co-intern and I were waiting for the authorities to reach the work place and assign us some actual work rather than asking us to arrive before time to admire the office interiors.(By before time I mean 2:00 pm). In a typical media house, a normal working day doesn't start before 3.00 pm for the creative department ,whereas for the other end of the organization which includes the admin and management sector, 2.00 pm means more than half of their day is over.

The two of us were waiting at the reception as we hadn't been confirmed on board, one of the human resource executive was leaving for lunch, She looked at us and stopped to wave, she introduced herself first because our acquaintance with her was limited to the initial telephonic conversation during the pre-recruitment period.The conversation started off with us addressing our dilemma about the internship, she was quick to help and in no time the encounter turned into a chatty conversation. She then glanced at her watch and said, "I need to leave for lunch, let me know if you guys need any help." Within two minutes of her departure for lunch, we also walked out of the office because she had directed us and gave an assurance that she will co-ordinate with the creative team rather seeing us waitredundantly. She was probably doing just her job, even though she wasn't the concerned person to handle the interns, she did take a step out of her way.To see someone
being friendly and helpful who sounded rather snooty over the phone was a drastic change of impression.

The whole incident reminded me of a friend, who couldn't judge the guy she really liked. She would term it as, "He's prince charming in person, and a retard in tin foil on Whatsapp." For those of you who are wondering what is the whole personality paradox about?  She meant that he was extremely talkative when they met, and treated her in the best way, but on Whatsapp he seemed to be a different person altogether, someone who kept the conversations concise and replied in a way to which I would describe as 'Blah.'

The two instances are a clear example of differences in personalities influenced by the mode of communication. We often see an introvert individual who appears to be a party animal according to his/her Facebook profile. We all know someone who is more talkative over the phone than in person, on the other hand there also exist personalities like my friend's love interest and the human resources executive who are better communicators when there's a physical presence of the other person around them.

Why do personalities vary as per mode of communication? There is no accurate answer to this particular question,it's not personality but maybe it's the differences in choices and comfort.There's a large group of people who are more comfortable to refrain from an eye contact. They are certainly thankful to Alexander Graham Bell for inventing a device that could pick voices and people could talk to each other, miles away without having to make an eye contact. This completely makes sense when radio jockeys most commonly say that they were introverts when they started their career. Isn't radio
a perfect medium for the vocally gifted to connect to the world at large without making an eye contact?
An appealing voice personality can paint the picture of a strong individual.
But just as every coin, telephonic conversation has its other side as well.What if  the other person you're talking to has a consistent tone for every emotion? In such a situation it would be difficult to tell a sarcastic comment from a serious reply unless you know the other person really well.

                                                     

With the advent of cellphones, a large group of people began fascinating over text messages which have now become a way of life, A text message in the modern context is a digital letter,which has given meaning to real time communication in the fast pacing world.
Why do we utilize the text message? Sometimes when we are running out of time to call someone, a text message does the task for us in the middle of an important event. A text message is also a helping hand when one needs to circulate a message to a larger group.

Other than the day-to-day life situations, when do we tend to use the text message?
Times when it is troublesome to get a situation across verbally. A verbal conversation could be demanding in case of a situation where there's too much to express but very little to tell. Times when situations provoke emotional outburst, love at its extreme level may find its source of communication
 in a text message. There's always a situation otherwise too, when anguish is at its peak and one is battling between words and rage, a text message serves as an ideal  platform of expression.
Just as every book comes with a start and end, a text message also comes with advantages and disadvantages.A series of incorrectly intercepted text messages can lead to more damage in a relationship than the bombings at Hiroshima and Nagasaki did. Before one even realizes, a Mills&Boon chapter could turn into the Exorcist series.

Telephonic conversations and text messages are today's world, but what probably continues to retain
over the years is the warmth of meeting a friend. Because hugs can only be exchanged personally and not virtually. Conversations seem more meaningful when you can see the other person's reactions and learn about their opinions depending upon their body language. You wouldn't know how passionate is someone  about a subject until you see the spark in their eyes. Neither would you know their hatred towards a subject until you see the rage in their eyes.But just as there's sugar to sweeten a coffee and spice to flavor food, a rendezvous or a meeting has its drawback too. As many disputes happen, I've grown up listening to a recurrent and perhaps dramatic statement of "It's not what he/she said, but how he/she said." If facial expression
and voice modulation are methods of communication,it isn't necessary that they only serve good. In certain cases, a misunderstood expression or pitch of the voice could act as a wind crumpling a paper.

As we relentlessly try to put  pieces together and the solve the jigsaw puzzle that communication is,I would like to bring in what Mark Twain once said,
 "Let us make the special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation," 

Have a conversational week!








       

100 x Happy Days

100 x Happy Days

   It was suddenly NOT hot, as vague and lame as it sounds that was the exact sentiment of the moment which occurred on Wednesday afternoon;when I was coming back from college around 3.30 pm. Living in the suburbs, a rickshaw ride is usually what gets me home from the station. Sitting on the glossy blue colored jacketed seats of the auto rickshaw, like most of the times when I am traveling alone, my eyes were fixated to my phone. As I recall, it was instagram, that kept me buried in my phone,precisely speaking, a page called Sarcasm Only, which has pretty much become my anecdote to the routine boredom. I remember, just as I giggled to an e-card which read,"Let me know, if you ever need any help eating your feelings."
 I felt the change in the movement of wind, the breeze brushed through my face, being a quiet place in afternoon, I could hear the sound of leaves swaying in the lane,and it was suddenly not hot. By now, if you are looking for relevance to the subject, I promise, you shall seek the answer soon. Coming back to the moment; nothing about the change of wind may be amusing, but this change in wind, made me look up from my phone and I realized, I was in the middle of my favorite place in the vicinity. The lane which I had just entered, is a conjunction point for anyone, wanting to go or coming back from the station or the commercial area. Surrounded by banyan trees, the lane is situated in the middle of a golf course, each time you gaze to your left, or right, you see the calm green dissolving in your weary eyes.

    As ordinary as the event of occurrence may sound, this was what, got me to write, after what seems like an eternity . When I experienced the sudden change of wind, I shifted my focus from the phone(REEL WORLD) to the outside(REAL WORLD), this moment, which barely lasted for a fraction of 30 seconds, made me realize that, this has been happening for quite sometime now. How often do I navigate my attention to the tiniest of things? These things, unlike most of the other things in the world, which don't command or even expect much in return. I certainly don't intend, to preach, The Art Of Living, lessons, but this tiny incident made me wonder and realize, How am I really reflecting upon life? I then questioned myself, When was the last time I appreciated a moment or a thing which was as little and beautiful?

I instantaneously had the answer to this question, it was while, I had participated in a social media self challenge, popular on instagarm by the title, '100 Happy Days'(Story behind 100 happy days). In order, to click a picture of something, that made me happy on that respective day, I started admiring the tiniest of things, which in turn, had made me feel like a kid, who seizes every moment, and celebrates the joy of every ordinary thing, in our day-to-day lives. This incident from Wednesday got me to think, that all of us could have a 100 x happy day challenge, but we don't necessarily need to click and post a picture every time, though one can sure do that, a better idea could be to capture a mental image of every such moment. In case, you're wondering, what does the 'x' in the 100 x happy days mean? The 'x' stands as a multiplication sign to the number of days we live rather than exist, a 100 x(multiplied) by the number of days, each one of us is gifted with.

    As and when, you feel, you are loosing out on happiness in this fast-pacing,bizarre world, Pause.Take a moment and find the calm within you, in this chaotic world, For; there is harmony in this clutter, and clarity in discord. Learn to embrace beauty in every aspect of life, and then as Abhraham Lincoln had said:

"Most folks are as happy, as they make up their minds to be."

A picture from my 100 happy days challenge: Chasing the sunset